The Couch
by HoldoutTrout
Summary: It wasn't every day Regina came home to find a recovering Dark One lying on her couch. In fact, considering that she had most certainly not invited said former Greatest Evil into her home today, and her son had presumably been at school the whole day, she was more than a little surprised. Pre-Swan Queen with mentions of Captain Swan. Major character death (mentioned).


It wasn't every day Regina came home to find a recovering Dark One lying on her couch. In fact, considering that she had most certainly not invited said former Greatest Evil into her home today, and her son had presumably been at school the whole day, she was more than a little surprised.

Emma, however, didn't appear fazed at all by being caught on a couch in a house with a locked door.

"Miss Swan," Regina said, "what are you doing in my home?"

"Your couch is surprisingly comfortable," Emma replied. "I noticed it when I had the cuff on."

"That wasn't an answer." Regina continued past her living room to the kitchen to set her bags of groceries down. She started to put the various items away, wondering if she should just kick Emma out.

Emma's voice wafted after her. "I did a lot of thinking that day. About… stuff. I can't seem to think right now-I keep going over and over the same things. And I thought that maybe retracing my steps would help." Her voice was quiet, and so, so sad.

Regina decided she had everything crucial put away and came back into the living room. "Is it helping?" she asked, more than a little curious.

"Not really," Emma admitted. "Mostly I just spent a lot of time wondering what the hell I was doing breaking into your house and imagining how mad you were going to be."

"That makes two of us," Regina said, but her heart wasn't in it.

"I fucked up," Emma said, softly. "I hurt everyone. I hurt _Henry_. I killed-" she broke off, and she seemed like she might cry.

Regina sighed and sat down in the chair opposite Emma. "First of all," Regina said, "you've apologized to everyone and to Henry. And you did what you could for Hook."

"It's not enough," Emma whispered.

"It won't ever be," Regina said with certainty but without malice. "You fucked up. You hurt people. They might forgive, they might even forget most of the time, and you might forget some of the time if you're lucky. But you'll remember it sometimes when you look at them or when they smile at you or when you're just sitting and watching TV. That won't ever go away."

Emma was silent for a long moment. "Thank you," she said finally. "That-well, it doesn't help, but it actually makes me feel better, in a weird way. I was holding baby Neal today and Mary Margaret was smiling, and then I suddenly just… couldn't be there."

Regina knew exactly what she meant, had had so many moments when the guilt threatened to overwhelm her since she'd cast the curse.

"I was so scared, Regina." She turned her head away, toward the back of the couch.

"Scared to lose Hook," Regina guessed at what Emma meant.

"Yes, but-" Emma's fingers tensed into the couch, as if trying to hold herself down. "I was scared to lose him. I was scared to lose that clear path into the future-the house, the stability. Well," she amended, "as much stability as you can find in Storybrooke. With a pirate."

Regina smiled.

"But I wasn't just scared because I was afraid I might lose it. I couldn't bring myself to consider not moving down that path. Because if I did consider another future, then I knew what I wanted, and I knew I couldn't have it."

Emma still wasn't looking at Regina, and for no discernible reason Regina's heartbeat picked up a little.

"What do you mean?" Regina asked.

Emma didn't answer.

"Emma, what do you mean?"

Emma suddenly swung her legs from over the armrest. She stood, still not looking Regina in the face. "I should go. I'm sorry I broke into your house."

"Emma-" Regina said, bewildered. She stood and followed Emma to the entryway. Emma took out her hat and scarf and put them on, opening the door and squeezing past Regina, who still couldn't make sense of what had happened.

Regina's eyes caught Emma's as she passed by. She always knew what Emma was thinking, and it only took a split-second of eye contact for her to register every emotion Emma was feeling-and it was a lot of emotion. Guilt and anger and sadness and an unbearable love that made Regina want to crumple under its weight.

And then Emma was through the door and gone.


End file.
